Last month, you remember, I invited people to share with me the guys they classified as Unforgettable Heroes of film, books and TV. I put the word out on my Erotica with Soul blog, Facebook and Twitter too, and I received some great nominees.

Sure, taste is a very individual thing, particularly if you're talking about taste in men. Nevertheless, I expect there are common traits among the guys that get into your blood and fascinate you for years. So let's take a look at these guys and see if we can glean any common themes.

Unforgettable...that's what they are... I'm speaking of those certain protagonists of books, movies and television that get into your system and never quite get out again.

In the process of being a romance author and erotica blogger, I hear a lot from fans about both their favorite men among my characters and in general. It's amazing which of these fellows just keep turning up again and again. I have my theories as to the elements that make for unforgettable heroes, but I'm hoping in the next few weeks to hear from readers and perhaps draw some new conclusions. In the meantime, I'd like to share with you three of my own classic examples and what I see as their appeal.

The other day a 12-year-old girl emailed me asking if my vampire romance novel Bloodchained was appropriate for her to read. (Clearly she'd read her way through the Twilight series and was hungry for more.) It was a tough question. I wrote BC for adults, so in the strictest sense, it's not a YA book. At the same time, I had to ask myself if there were content in it that I as a parent would not want my kids to read at that age.

Kids and sex is a very tricky topic. For one thing, adolescence is an inexact science to say the least. A 12-year-old girl could be entirely still a child, with parents who haven't told her a thing about sex. Or she could be well-informed, or even sexually active. Young teens clearly should have parental supervision in this arena (which I why I made a point of telling this girl not to buy the book without involving her mom in the decision). Older ones, while still "underage," should play a part in the decision-making process when making choices that involve sexually-oriented media. Family values, religion, and personal taste all come into play.

Do you sometimes wonder why your fantasies head down such dark paths? We all do it...we all think about things we would never dare do, or even enjoy, in real life. In your dreams you let the vampire take you, give in to the bad boy, cheat on your husband, seduce the married guy, surrender to all those dark urges no one knows you even feel. To paraphrase the question: Why do bad fantasies happen to good people?

These issues have been a lot on my mind lately. You see, I just published my newest "erotica with soul" collection, Soulful Sex: The Darker Side. I also just published a spinoff of my vampire romance novel Bloodchained in comic book form (yes, I did say comic book!) called Sign of the Bloodletters. So for the past few months I've been fantasizing about blooddrinking fiends, stalkers, aphrodisiacs, inappropriate infatuations, adultery, and all kinds of sinister stuff. Fun, hey?

You've got yours, I've got mine, but for what it's worth, here are the erotic highlights of my year. So read on!

Well, the vampire archetype, initially considered a figure of horror, has gone through a number of transformations in popular culture over the past century. Nevertheless, I maintain that the inherent sexual aspect of vampires is not new. The great thing about vampires is that they can be reinvented again and again, in forms acceptable to different tastes. The even greater thing about vampires is that they can express the socially unacceptable in a literary form that is acceptable. That's why creatures who essentially celebrate Dominance/submission--a concept that is taboo in many circles--can be tolerated as the stars of children's books. Nifty, hey?

Now to me this is not at all a bad thing. When kids pass through puberty, suddenly there are a lot of weird feelings and concepts wrestling with one another in their minds and bodies. Fantasy, in this case, fiction, can help a person make sense of the conflict. Young girls experiencing their first sense of being thrilled by the feeling of submission, get to practice that emotion with imaginary vampires. Coming to terms with the new sensations goes a long way towards accepting your new, nubile self.

Pavlov-wise, anything of an erotic nature is going to tend to lead to obsession. It's as simple as A-B-C; if something feels good, you will try to repeat it. The repetition reinforces the association of that act with pleasure, and there you are: obsessed.

This is the simple psychological explanation for a lot of things in your life and even more in mine. If you read a lot of romance and/or erotica, this is why (and it's why I like to write both). It's also why many of us have folders full of images on our computers labeled "Robert Pattinson" or "Peter Petrelli." It explains our hobbies, where we expend our free time, how we rank our priorities, and so on. And sometimes, you and I ask ourselves, "Am I obsessed?"

I don't know about other erotic romance authors, but in my world, the stories always start with a guy. A guy whose personality, demeanor, appearance, character...oh, let's cut to the chase, a guy who turns me on.

Only occasionally do I think, "Oh now here's a cool plot line with all kinds of erotic possibilities I could develop." Nope, it starts with a guy. A guy I can't resist, a guy who makes my heart flutter, a guy I would love to take me to bed. So where do I find these sexy heroes?

One of my most popular columns here on Novelspot was my essay "Shirtless or Naked?" So obviously people enjoy having these terse, racy questions posed of them. It occurred to me this morning that there is another terse, racy question we might enjoy asking ourselves, and that is...

Sex or kisses?

I think we can bet what the average guy will say to that, but the average woman, well, that's hard to say. I'm not even sure how to answer the question myself. There are so many ways to look at it. Okay, let's try some of the ways:

If you ask a writer of erotic romance if there's any way to come up with a story all readers will love, she'll tell you--no way. Reading is always a matter of taste, and of all the fiction genres, there's nowhere that is more true than in erotica. That said, in my experience there may be one exception to the "matter of taste" principle: it seems to help if the sex comes from the heart.

What do I mean by that? Well, I've published three novels and thirty-five novellas and short stories, and it's interesting which of the tales seem to have the greatest impact and get the most fan mail. They are the ones that I sat down and wrote for myself, out of passion, not necessarily even thinking about anyone but the hero and myself.

Fortunately for you, dear reader, my family members never read this particular column of mine, so I can pretty much be candid with you and bar no holds. Because face it, it would be a little weird to read about your mom or daughter as a thirteen-year-old girl writing erotic fiction.

Well, I suppose I was bound to start at that age. I was a fiction writer from the time I could write in cursive, and at thirteen I passed puberty. Hand paper and pen to me, throw hormones in the mix, and what are you going to get? Erotic fiction.

Many a time I've talked about the challenges of writing erotic romance when you are simply not in the mood. It's no different then when your significant other gets that look in his eye and you just don't think you can comply tonight. (Fortunately, your computer will not be as disappointed as your significant other.) Having written several dozen spicy stories and novellas, I about a year ago I found myself very happy to be writing in a genre that didn't require me to find a way to work in a sex scene on a regular basis.

…to write your erotic romance, that is. To put it another way, at what age is a woman best suited to write about sex?

If you happen to be aware that yours truly is 51, you're no doubt expecting me to make a case for "cougars." Older women indeed have a lot of credentials when it comes to a full understanding of the erotic. We've experienced it all: Stage 1, when sex still seems a little creepy but it's starting to appeal for some mysterious reason. Stage 2, when your shyness and squeamishness is past, but you haven't sorted out yet what you need to feel emotionally before you want to be intimate. Stage 3, when love and sex come together and actually, wonderfully, work in tandem to bring you joy. Stage 4, when you find yourself thinking about sex all the time and looking at males with a new appreciation. Stage 5, when other aspects of life become more important than sex and you wonder if your libido is in trouble.