In response to the numerous posts about writing rules on the Novelspotters Yahoo Group, I though it might be appropriate to reproduce here, my ever so popular article Steve's Law's of Writing.
Naturally, I emailed myself and got permission to do so. I hope you enjoy them.
Steve's Law of Submission
After mailing an article or story to a new market, the very next time you look at your copy, you will find an error on the first page.
Steve's Law of Bad Timing
The publication that purchased your piece will go out of business the month before it's scheduled to print it.
The You Should Know Better Principle
The longer you have to wait for an editor to make up his mind, the greater your hope that your piece will be accepted.
Steve's Law of Editorial Injustice
The lines that you like the best, are the ones the editor will insist you remove.
Steve's Law of Critique Groups
A story that you're sure will go over well with your critique group, will be ripped to shreds. Conversely, the story you are sure is garbage is the one that will garner the highest praise.
The Managing Editor Principle
The Editor that loved your novel, will leave the company shortly before she sends you an acceptance letter.
The Editor that replaces her will send you a rejection slip almost immediately.
Steve's Submission Axiom
You can never remember if you stamped the self addressed envelope, once you've mailed the submission.
Steve's Law of Intellectual Embarrassment
If someone claims that you've misused a word, and you're sure you didn't... it will turn out that you were wrong.
The more stupid it makes you look, the more people will be present when you find out.
Steve's First Law of Research
The one fact in any article that you know is true without having to check, will turn out to be wrong.
Everyone else you speak to will immediately know what you didn't.
Steve's Second Law of Research
The one piece of research that supports the rest of your premise, will turn out to be wrong.
Steve's Third Law of Research
The one fact that you absolutely need to know, will be conspicuously absent from every web page and book you can find on the subject.
Steve's Law of New Ideas
Any new idea that comes your way, will only occur to you when you are out and have no pen or paper to record it.
By the time you get home, you will have completely forgotten it, until the next time you go out without a pen and paper.
Steve's Law of Argumentative Transference
Any editor you've had a vicious argument with, will soon end up working for your favorite magazine.
Editors never forget a writer that's pissed them off.
Quantitative Summary of Steve's Laws of Writing
It is far easier to write, than it is to get published.
Steve's First Law of Writing
No matter how many rejections slips you get, or how much criticism, NEVER forget why you began writing in the first place.
Steve's Laws of Writing has appeared in E2K Ezine, The AnotherRealm Newsletter, Science Fiction Romance Newsletter, the Bookmice webpage and of course...here! I wrote this as a lark (in twenty minutes), after completing my interview for Easywriters and it immediately became my most popular piece of work to date!