Television personalities always look so pulled together. Everyone on the local news station is upbeat and perky even when presenting potential natural disasters. Hard to imagine anything wrong behind their mega-watt smiles, but what if there was something terrible that might knock them out of their highly competitive market altogether? That is the life Mariah Mattison, the meteorologist in Liz Hunter’s Blue Water, lives—a calm surface, which disguises the chaos churning below.

Mariah knows she needs something to curb her self-destructive path of starving herself to death. Her overweight days seem to overshadow the fact she is now a walking blonde skeleton. Her concerned producer, Ruth, manages to talk her into taking a cruise—imagining endless buffets and delicious desserts. The plan is workable, but something isn’t quite right. The fact that she is only allowed to bring one soft-sided suitcase seems a bit peculiar; however, rules are rules. Then there is the off-hand comment from fellow traveler, Carol, about avoiding her fellow travelers if she didn’t like them. The trip will give her a chance to get her head together.

Simon Hatcher is stuck elbow deep in paperwork trying to decipher his late father’s business, Capt’n Charters. All he really wants to do is sell the barefoot cruise charter line with his father’s sterling reputation intact. It’s a do-able task, but the arrival of an unexpected cruise party willing to pay $10,000 throws a monkey wrench in his plans. He definitely could use the money, but there is the lack of a sailboat and captain. Tall, sun-kissed Simon soon finds himself ogled by two vastly different women passengers, the voracious Carol and a skinny blonde who seems to be confused about the whole crewing your own ship plan.

Mariah boards the sailboat against her better judgment. A lecherous male passenger apparently believes she is intended for him, on the lines of being a dessert. Oh — then there, the fact that she doesn’t know a thing about sailboats nor is she in the mood to learn. It’s not all bad; the gorgeous Simon Hatcher is captaining the ship. With such a man in charge, what could go wrong?

Simon knows better. In fact, he is worried about the boat’s engine since he never tested it before putting the Kokomo back in the water. Add to that, probably the most incompetent crew to ever walk a deck. Carol, Jerry, and Art don’t impress him with their alcohol-guzzling abilities and rowdiness. Then there is Mariah, clearly clueless and unhappy to be on the cruise. Simon feels an instinctive need to protect her.

It is no secret who are the bad guys in the story. The characters are painted with flat, broad strokes leaving nothing to the imagination. The dialogue is stilted and hackneyed. Mariah obsesses about food all the time instead of the handsome Simon. There is more chemistry between Mariah and the guava puff then there is between she and Simon.

Blue Water doesn't float my boat--far from it. It is really hard to like anyone in the novel. Simon comes off as decent-if a bit two-dimensional. Research was definitely lacking—a sailboat cannot be readied, especially painted in a day, and placed in the water. I did not like the novel and would not recommend it.

Reviewed by Morgan Wyatt
© September 2006