Copyright (c) 2000 by Mike Resnick.
Reprinted with permission

I want to discuss the pet of the future.

Before I begin, I think I'd better list my bona fides.

From 1968 through 1981, Carol and I were among the country's leading breeders and exhibitors of collies. We had 23 champions (and named almost all of them after science fiction stories and characters. Among the leading winners of 1974, 1976 and 1979 were Champions Gully Foyle, The Gray Lensman, and Paradox Lost -- "Gully", "Kim", and "Pax" around the house -- and among the leading broodbitches were Champions Nightwings and The Changeling.)

From 1976 through 1993 we owned and ran Briarwood Pet Motel, the second-largest luxury boarding and grooming kennel in America. It required a staff of 21 during high season, and a typical summer day would see us boarding some 200 dogs and 60 cats, and grooming perhaps 35 dogs.

I am still an AKC-licensed collie judge.

So when I say I know a little something about animals, trust me: I do.

And as a science fiction writer, I am naturally interested in the future of pets, since I made a substantial portion of my living from them for a number of years.

First, the bad news: dogs' days as the pet of choice are severely numbered. And it's not because they aren't intelligent, loving, and obedient. It's simply their nature.

Just about every dog -- even the "lap dogs" like the Lhasa Apso and Shih Tzu -- needs to get out and exercise. As land becomes more and more expensive, fewer and fewer people will be able to afford the luxury of yards.

Also, let's be frank: let's say you "paper train" a dog -- and it's not as easy as you think. Even the small ones tend to produce more urine and stool than a cat of the same size -- and most of them are far larger than cats. They can make an apartment unliveable even if they never miss the paper.

But (I hear you say) 90% of the American people live on 3% of the land. We won't be a coast-to-coast apartment complex for a millennium or more.

True -- but we're talking about the future of pets, not working dogs. Pets, by definition, exist to lead lives of pampered luxury. They are not expected to herd sheep, kill rats, save freezing or drowning humans, hunt wolves, bait bulls, or do most of the things that the various breeds were created to do. And I am not saying that dogs will cease to exist. They'll still work on farms and be bred for various functions by those hobbyists -- fewer and fewer each generation -- who can afford large tracts of land. They just won't function as pets any more.

Now, I've heard a lot of writers talk about DNA manipulation, and doubtless it can and will take place. But I think it is likely to be breed-specific. You can make hairier collies, or sleeker greyhounds, or smaller chihuahuas, or bigger Great Danes -- but they will still be dogs, with all the disadvantages that dogs will possess going into the 22nd Century.

So...since man has always required pets to lavish his time and affection upon, what will take dogs' places?

Certainly not reptiles. It's a pity, because a snake probably requires less attention than any other animal. Give him a mouse (or whatever he eats) once a month and he's happy. More than happy, in fact; he's frequently all but comatose.

But let's face it: snakes just aren't cuddly. They don't return your affection. They lack a certain warmth.

Birds?

Well, some birds are reasonably affectionate, within limitations. But the term "bird brain" didn't grow out of thin air. Birds are hard-wired, and they don't learn. Sure, you've seen "trained" birds at the circus and the zoo...but think back, and you'll realize that in every case they were placed in a situation where what seemed like a trick was simply normal bird behavior in less-than-normal surroundings.

Also, you have two choices with a bird. You keep him in a cage, which means you don't pet and cuddle him -- or you leave him out of his cage, which means you're cleaning bird stool from your carpet and furniture a dozen times a day.

Monkeys? Personally I love monkeys. They're cute, affectionate, quick learners, fun to be around -- while they're young. But based on my experience at the kennel, where we boarded monkeys from time to time, the males are not a lot of fun once they become sexually mature. In fact, they'd just as soon rip your face off as look at you.

And you have the same problem you had with birds, only writ bigger: you either keep your monkey caged, or else you turn him loose and clean up not only all the urine and stool, but all the considerable damage that his curious mind can conceive and his hands with opposing thumbs can accomplish.

We can go through the less-likely ones -- ferrets, raccoons, possums, skunks, and the like -- but trust me, there are serious objections to all of them.

Mechanical pets aren't going to take over, either. They can be programmed to do anything a real pet can do -- but they can't be programmed for sincerity, and pet owners will want to know that when their animal stares at them worshipfully or licks their hands, it is doing it because love -- and not a computer chip -- compels it to do so.

No, the winner, the pet that will almost certainly emerge triumphant, is the cat.

Consider its advantages.

First, it will use a litter box. And it's small enough so that you can put a tunnel-like cover on the box to eliminate most odors.

Second, unlike the more exotic animals, it's as easy to feed as a dog, and far less expensive.

Third, a cat can get all the exercise it needs in a two-room apartment. It need never go outside.

Fourth, it has been shown time and again that a cat can be left alone for days (as long as it has a supply of food and water) with no ill psychological effects.

Fifth, there are already hundreds of millions of cats in the world, and they reproduce like, well, cats. Which is to say, they're inexpensive and getting moreso.

Sixth, they can be leash-broken if need be.

Seventh, de-clawing and neutering are very easy and inexpensive surgeries, and leave no mental or emotional scars.

Put it all together and the cat is an odds-on favorite to become the pet of choice by the end of the 21st Century.

As a dog breeder, I find that disappointing.

As a science fiction writer, I find it inevitable.